I Didn’t Always Believe I Deserved More—Here’s What Changed That

There was a time when I didn’t believe I deserved better than the hand I’d been dealt. I stayed in places where I wasn’t valued, accepted less than I deserved, and convinced myself that I should just be grateful for what I had—even when it was breaking me. Sound familiar?

For so many of us, the idea that we’re worthy of more feels foreign. Maybe it’s because of the way we were raised, the toxic relationships we’ve endured, or the messages we’ve absorbed from society. Whatever the reason, believing you don’t deserve more keeps you stuck. I know, because I’ve been there.

But here’s the good news: you don’t have to stay there. Believing you deserve more isn’t something that happens overnight, but it is something you can learn. Here’s how my mindset shifted—and how yours can too.

Recognizing the Lies I Told Myself

The first step for me was recognizing the lies I’d been telling myself for years:

• “I should just be happy with what I have.”

• “It’s selfish to want more.”

• “I’m not good enough to deserve better.”

Sound familiar? These beliefs had been ingrained in me for so long that they felt like truths. But when I started questioning them, I realized they weren’t truths at all—they were just stories I’d been telling myself to stay small. Once I acknowledged that these thoughts weren’t facts, I could begin to challenge them.

Surrounding Myself with Better Energy

I’ll be honest: shifting my mindset wasn’t something I could do alone. I had to start surrounding myself with people who saw my potential, people who encouraged me to demand more from life. Sometimes that meant stepping away from toxic relationships or environments that reinforced my self-doubt.

The people around you matter. When you’re surrounded by negativity, it’s easy to believe that’s all there is. But when you’re around people who uplift you, challenge you, and remind you of your worth, everything changes.

Taking Small, Bold Steps

Believing you deserve more doesn’t mean making massive changes all at once. For me, it started with small, bold steps:

• Saying “no” when I wanted to say “yes” just to keep the peace.

• Setting boundaries and sticking to them.

• Choosing to prioritize myself, even if it felt uncomfortable.

Each small step was a reminder that I was capable of creating a life that aligned with my worth. And every time I took a step forward, I felt a little stronger.

Redefining What I Deserve

I had to get really clear on what “more” looked like for me. Did it mean more respect? More freedom? More joy? Once I defined it, I could start building a vision for my life that aligned with what I truly wanted.

This wasn’t about being “picky” or “demanding”—it was about being honest with myself. And once I set those standards, I stopped settling for anything less.

Trusting the Process

Here’s the truth: it’s not easy to shift your mindset. There were days when I doubted myself, days when I slipped back into old habits. But over time, I learned to trust the process. I reminded myself that growth isn’t linear, and progress is still progress.

Every time I showed up for myself—whether it was by enforcing a boundary, walking away from something that didn’t serve me, or taking a risk—I reinforced the belief that I deserved more. And eventually, that belief became my reality.

If you’re reading this and you’re feeling stuck, let me remind you: you do deserve more. You deserve a life that feels aligned, a life that reflects your worth, a life that lights you up. It’s okay to want more. It’s okay to demand better. And it’s okay to start small.

The journey isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. And I promise, you have everything you need within you to take that first step. So what are you waiting for? Let’s start demanding better—together.